1. "He said, Bill, I believe this is killing me": Billy Joel, "Piano Man"
2. "To the sound of old T. Rex, and Who's Next": The Who, "You Better You Bet"
3. "And no one's gettin' fat except Mama Cass!": Mamas and the Papas, "Creeque Alley"
4. "Leave your mind behind, Baby James": James Taylor, "Mexico"
5. "We were just another band out of Boston": Boston, "Rock and Roll Band"
6. "Ninety days, Jerry!": Jerry Reed, "When You're Hot, You're Hot"
7. "And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night": Survivor, "Eye of the Tiger"
8. "I'm only human, of flesh and blood I'm made": Human League, "Human"
9. "Living back in Chicago": Chicago, "Take Me Back To Chicago"
10. "Heartless, heartless, never never out of control": Heart, "Heartless"
11. "You can call me Bobby, or you can call me Zimmy": Bob Dylan (Bob Zimmerman), "Gotta Serve Somebody"
12. "By the way, which one's Pink?": Pink Floyd,"Have A Cigar"
13. "And she said, 'How are you, Harry?' And I said, 'How are you, Sue?"': Harry Chapin, "Taxi"
14. "Fastidious and precise, she's a killer queen": Queen, "Killer Queen"
15. "They tell me Gladys, you know you love too hard": Gladys Knight and the Pips,"Love Overboard"
16. "Lee, you haven't loved me for nearly four years": Lee Michaels, "Do You Know What I Mean"
17. "The first step of the cure is a kiss": Kiss, "Calling Dr. Love"

Bonus: "And I left his dead ass there by the side of the road": Grateful Dead, "Me and My Uncle"