1. What is he driving on?: A dark desert highway
2. What smell is rising up in the air?: Warm smell of colitas
3. Why did he have to stop for the night?: My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
4. What did he hear as she stood in the doorway?: The mission bell
5. What was he thinking to himself?: This could be heaven or this could be hell
6. How does he describe her mind?: Tiffany-twisted
7. Where was the dance?: In the courtyard
8. What did he order from the captain?: Wine
9. When was the last time they had that spirit here?: 1969
10. What is on the ceiling?: Mirrors
11. What is on ice?: Pink champagne
12. Why are we all just prisoners here?: Of our own device
13. Where do they gather for the feast?: In the masters' chambers
14. What kind of knives do they have?: Steely
15. And are they effective?: No, they just can't kill the beast
16. What is the last thing he remembers doing?: Running for the door
17. Who told him, "Relax, we are programmed to receive?": The night man

Bonus: What is the name of the building on the front of the Hotel California album?: The Beverly Hills Hotel