1. "What's a matta you? Hey! Gott-a no respect": "Shaddap You Face," Joe Dolce
2. "Eastern Airlines thanked me for flying United": "Rappin' Rodney," Rodney Dangerfield
3. "Well, me and my friends, we all love to see comedy classics on late night TV": "The Curly Shuffle," Jump 'n The Saddle
4. "David Lee Roth lights the menorah": "The Chanukah Song," Adam Sandler
5. "Woof, woof, woof, woof": "Who Let The Dogs Out," Baha Men
6. "When I walk out to get my mail, it measures on the Richter scale": "Fat," Weird Al Yankovic
7. "Stop it, Debbie, you're embarrassing me!": "The Homecoming Queen's Got a Gun," Julie Brown
8. "Well, don't you know that other kids are starving in Japan": "Eat It," Weird Al Yankovic
9. "'Cause Pokey's too slow,and Blinky's out of sight": "Pac-Man Fever," Buckner and Garcia
10. "My name is Ted, And one day I'll be dead yo yo": "I Wanna Be A Cowboy," Boys Don't Cry (I always thought this song was making fun of Ted Kennedy)
11."We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill": "Star Trekkin," The Firm
12. "Now, come on, what was I supposed to do? He was outta town and his two friends were soooo fine": "Macarena," Los Del Rio
13. "She had dumps like a truck truck truck, thighs like what what what": "Thong Song," Sisqo
14. "I'm used to good ol' fashioned home Spanish cooking, if I try that I'll be puking": "Rico Suave," Gerardo
15. "Like my mother is like a total space cadet": "Valley Girl," Frank and Moon Zappa
16. "Its hard to bargle nawdle zouss(?) with all these marbles in my mouth": "Smells Like Nirvana," Weird Al Yankovic
17. "Life in plastic, it's fantastic": "Barbie Girl," Aqua

Bonus: "They can't play baseball, they don't wear sweaters, they're not good dancers, they don't play drums": "Fish Heads," Barnes & Barnes