Everyone occasionally gets a song lyric wrong, and sometimes the misheard lyric is funnier than the song itself! All of the misheard lyrics on this page were heard by me, a member of my family, or a friend - I didn't take any from the many books documenting "mondegreens," another common word for lyrical misfires.

I've also included a few instances in which I misunderstood the meaning of the lyrics in a song - for example, I used to think the guy in "Pretty Paper" was crying because you didn't buy anything from him, rather than "crying" out the names of the items he's selling.

If you wonder why some more common mondegreens aren't on this page, it's because I didn't hear it that way! I never heard "scuse me while I kiss this guy," "rocket man burning up their shoes out on the lawn," "one-ton tomato, I eat a one-ton tomato," "and lead us not into Penn Station, but deliver us from eagles," "there's a bathroom on the right," or "bakes my chicken when I sleep." I've also omitted mishears that aren't funny, that don't alter the meaning of the song in any way, or any instance in which I couldn't understand the lyrics at all and only heard gibberish.

The lyrics are presented in this format:

Wrong Lyric
Song Title, Artist
Right Lyric
Comment (when applicable)

Enjoy!

Chicago, Grateful Dead, KC and the Sunshine Band
And now, now that you're dead
"Colour My World," Chicago
And now, now that you"re near

Sock him in the butt, yeah yeah yeah
"Sing A Mean Tune Kid," Chicago
Sock 'em in the gut, yeah yeah yeah

Little Bo Peep
"Flight 602," Chicago
A little more free

Singing foreign songs
"Saturday In The Park," Chicago
Singing for us all

The best thing to happen to you, is the worst thing to happen to me
"Feelin' Stronger Every Day," Chicago
The best thing to happen to you, is the best thing to happen to me
Comment: What is actually sung here has been a topic for discussion several times on the various Chicago boards. It's unclear whether Peter is saying "worst" or "best" the second time. I've listened to it several times and it actually sounds like he's saying "burst" - which makes me think he double-tracked the lyric saying both words?

Get that jazz out
"Mongonucleosis," Chicago
Que belleza

Food to eat, shoes on your feet, gimme some heat, you live with Pete
"I'd Rather Be Rich," Chicago
Food to eat, shoes on your feet, maybe some heat, you live with defeat
Comment: Cetera?

If she would have been faithful...then I wouldn't have cheated
"If She Would Have Been Faithful," Chicago
If she would have been faithful...then I would have been cheated

Gonna grab it on the choo-choo, 'cause Mister Charlie told me so
Gonna grab my gun and shoot you, 'cause Mister Charlie told me so
"Mister Charlie," Grateful Dead
Gonna scare you up and shoot you, 'cause Mister Charlie told me so

Shake it, shake it, sugar bee
"Sugaree," Grateful Dead
Shake it, shake it, Sugaree

Medical mistake walking down the street today
"West L.A. Fadeaway," Grateful Dead
I met an old mistake, walking down the street today"

Norman, take me in your arms
"Rock Your Baby," George McCrae (written by KC)
Woman, take me in your arms
Comment: George McCrae has a very high-pitched voice, so I didn't realize at first that the song was being sung by a man!

Spaceman burns the bottom
"Sound Your Funky Horn," KC and the Sunshine Band
Bass man burn the bottom

Spaceman hits the drummer
"Sound Your Funky Horn," KC and the Sunshine Band
Bass man, Mr. Drummer

You're the, best dancer in the world, I can tell
"Shake Your Booty," KC and the Sunshine Band
You're the, best in the world, I can tell

I wanna be your, be your lover boy
"I'm Your Boogie Man," KC and the Sunshine Band
I wanna be your, be your rubber ball

I wanna love you up, but sometimes I don't
"I'm Your Boogie Man," KC and the Sunshine Band
I wanna love you uh, from sundown sunup

Well, this is your day, they f*ck you this way
"Do You Feel Alright," KC and the Sunshine Band
Well, this is your day, made for you this way

Elton John
Old man Moses, I have been deceived
"Border Song," Elton John
Holy Moses, I have been deceived

When Suzy Warner (unintelligible)
"Crocodile Rock," Elton John
When Suzy wore her dresses tight

While rockin', it's somethin' shockin'
"Crocodile Rock," Elton John
Crocodile rockin', it"s somethin' shockin'

I can't lie, no more honky tonkin'
"Don"t Let The Sun Go Down On Me," Elton John
I can't light no more of your darkness

Right here in town
"Goodbye Yellow Brick Road," Elton John
Vodka and tonics

He wants to take you to play racquetball
"Island Girl," Elton John
He wants to take you from the racket boss

Lucy in the sky, the sky
"Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds," Elton John
Lucy in the sky with diamonds

The definite lawn chair, sure plays a mean pinball
"Pinball Wizard," Elton John
The deaf, dumb, and blind kid, sure plays a mean pinball
Comment: I heard Elton's covers of these songs before I heard the originals by the Beatles and the Who.

'The sounds of a scooch plate and a motorbike
"Saturday Night's Allright For Fighting," Elton John
The sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike

Yellow man, makes his stand, in the auditorium
"Tiny Dancer," Elton John
Piano man, makes his stand, in the auditorium

If I was a skeleton, but then again, no
"Your Song," Elton John
If I was a sculptor, but then again, no

"Bennie and the Jets"
The way everybody's talking, might as well stick around.
"Bennie and the Jets," Elton John
We kill the fatted calf tonight so stick around.

It can't be wrong, you haven't seen them yet
"Bennie and the Jets," Elton John
Candy and Ronnie, have you seen them yet

Betty and the Jets
"Bennie and the Jets," Elton John
Bennie and the Jets

Oh but they're really wonderful
"Bennie and the Jets," Elton John
Oh but they"re weird and they"re wonderful

Oh Bennie, she's a ready cane
"Bennie and the Jets," Elton John
Oh, Bennie, she's really keen

Maybe the laundry, but Bennie makes a midget
"Bennie and the Jets," Elton John
Maybe they"re blinded, but Bennie makes them ageless
Note: "Bennie and the Jets" has to be one of the most difficult to understand songs ever to hit the Top Ten! Whether it's Elton's delivery or Bernie Taupin's unusual lyrics, I didn't learn the real words until years after the song had been popular. It's also my favorite Elton John song.

A lot of people visit this site asking about the meaning of this song; I think it's just a description of an imaginary rock band of the time. The singer is encouraging us to go to a Bennie and the Jets concert (partly because our parents wouldn't want us to go) and describes how the singer dressed.

Bennie's only rival in misheard lyric-dom is:

"Night Fever"
Dance into the ground
"Night Fever," Bee Gees
Listen to the ground

On the weight of the earth
"Night Fever," Bee Gees
On the waves of the air

We can't sh*t, we can't steal it
"Night Fever," Bee Gees
We can share, we can steal it

Just a minute, and the feeling is right
"Night Fever," Bee Gees
Reach out for me, yeah, and the feeling is right

Waitin' for an explosion tonight
"Night Fever," Bee Gees
Prayin' for this moment to last

Thought I could win
"Night Fever," Bee Gees
Borne on the wind

If we heat it all up
Don't need no help for us to make it
Give it just enough, you're taking us to the ball game
I get high in the back
I get higher in Milwaukee
And we're going through the door any moment
"Night Fever," Bee Gees
In the heat of our love,
Don't need no help for us to make it.
Gimme just enough takin' us to the mornin'.
I got fire in my mind.
I get higher in my walkin',
And I'm glowin' in the dark; I give you warnin'.
Comment: Well, I got ONE line in that verse right! This is a great song, but the combination of the fast tempo and the Bee Gees' high voices make it very, very difficult to understand - at least for me. The Bee Gees show up several other times on this page, so obviously difficult lyrics were a pattern for them. Or were they really singing in Manx?

Traditional, Religious, Children's, Commercials, and Other
Not a creature was stirring, not Ebenum Mouse
"The Night Before Christmas," poem
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse
Comment: This is my first misheard lyric. I had a "mouse playground" toy when I was little - a set of little slides, teeter-totters, swings etc. with two little toy mice. I named the male Ebenum Mouse, after what I thought I heard in this poem.

Somebody bit on the bay
"Camptown Races," traditional
Somebody bet on the bay

We are climbing Jacob's bladder
"Jacob's Ladder," traditional hymn
We are climbing Jacob's ladder

Bringing in the she's
"Bringing In the Sheaves," traditional hymn
Bringing in the sheaves

And forgive us our trespasses (cutting across someone else's property)
The Lord's Prayer
And forgive us our trespasses (errors, sins, offenses, wrongs against someone else)

We represent the Lollipop Give
Wizard of Oz soundtrack
We represent the Lollipop Guild

Like a boat out of the blue
"When You Wish Upon a Star," Pinocchio soundtrack
Like a bolt out of the blue

In 1813, the creeks (streams) uprose
"Ballad of Davy Crockett," Davy Crockett soundtrack
In 1813 the Creeks (Native American nation) uprose

Between our quests we seek to invest and impersonate Clark Gable
Between our quests we seem to impress and impersonate Clark Gable
"Knights of the Round Table," Monty Python and the Holy Grail soundtrack
Between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Clark Gable

Plank steak
Frequent meal item at our house
Flank steak

Poison berry cheesecake
Baskin Robbins ice cream flavor as interpreted by my brother
Boysenberry cheesecake

The NFL Harmonic
Orchestra as announced on classical music station
Vienna Philharmonic

Out of bounce
Football term
Out of bounds

"We're playing Yukon in basketball." "Isn't that a long way to go?"
Basketball school name
"We're playing UConn in basketball"

"I got married"
Conversation with friend on fuzzy cell phone
"I'm at the Amerisuites [hotel]"

A holy old subsidiary of Harris Bankcorp
The Money Store radio commercial
A wholly-owned subsidiary of Harris Bankcorp

Pittsburgh Bank
Fifth Third Bank radio commercial
Fifth Third Bank

Come on down to the bullsh*t
Boat show ad on radio
Come on down to the Boat Show

1-800-SEA-BITCH
Radio commercial
1-800-SEEPAGE

Lobsterescence
Top Chef food term
Lobster essence

Now with more orgies
Cell phone commercial
Now with more 4Gs

50s and 60s
When the chimes ring five, six and seven, we"ll be right at 7-11
"Rock Around the Clock," Bill Haley and the Comets
When the chimes ring five, six and seven, we"ll be right in seventh heaven

Let's go do the Hustle
"At the Hop," Danny and the Juniors
Let's go to the hop

See the girl with the red dress on, she can do the Bud Light all night long
"What'd I Say," Ray Charles
See the girl with the red dress on, she can do the Birdland all night long

It's a one-eyed snake!
"What'd I Say," Ray Charles
Tell me what'd I say!

In the midst of the laughter, he cries (tears because you didn't buy from him)
"Pretty Paper," Roy Orbison
In the midst of the laughter, he cries (out the names of the items he's selling)

Scandinavian sunset, way down the beach L.A.
"Surfin' U.S.A.," Beach Boys
San Onofre and Sunset, Redondo Beach, L.A.

All over the hole, yeah, and Waiameia Bay
"Surfin' U.S.A.," Beach Boys
All over La Jolla, and Waiameia Bay

Went to a dance, lookin' for a man
"Barbara Ann," Beach Boys
Went to a dance, lookin' for romance

It might not hurt you to apologize to her
"She Loves You," The Beatles
Pride can hurt you too, apologize to her

When I'm home, everything sees a little light
"A Hard Day's Night," The Beatles
When I'm home, everything seems to be right

It is snowing, it is snowing
"Tomorrow Never Knows," The Beatles
It is knowing, it is knowing

I fought the log and the log won
"I Fought the Law," Bobby Fuller Four
I fought the law and the law won

Hang On Snoopy
"Hang On Sloopy," McCoys/Ohio State Band
Hang On Sloopy
Comment: I first heard this song in the Ohio State Band instrumental version and thought it had something to do with Peanuts. I didn't hear the actual record until years later. This song was Number One on the day I was born. Go Buckeyes!

I'm trying to get away from the screen
"I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch), Four Tops
I'm tied to your apron strings

Hoosiers
"Cool Jerk," Capitols
Cool Jerk
Comment: I first heard this song while in college at Indiana University, and thought it was a commercial for basketball tickets.

She's a muscular boy
"A Must to Avoid," Herman"s Hermits
She's a must to avoid

Shotgun, shoot a bullet right now
"Shotgun," Jr. Walker and the All-Stars
Shotgun, shoot him 'fore he runs now

I"m just mad about voting, voting's mad about me
"Mellow Yellow," Donovan
I"m just mad about fourteen, fourteen's mad about me

Half-black prejudice lead fourth, put down, I hate ice cream
"My Back Pages," The Byrds
Half-wracked prejudice leaped forth, "Rip down all hate,? I screamed

And so it was that later, as the mirror told its tale
"A Whiter Shade of Pale, Procol Harum
And so it was that later, as the miller told his tale
Comment: I know the "miller's tale" is an allusion to Chaucer's Canterbury Tales, but doesn't my version make more sense in the context of the song? Especially since the next line is about the color of someone's face changing? Which that person could only see in the mirror?

I know you can see me, now here's a surprise
"I Can See For Miles," The Who
I know you've deceived me, now here's a surprise

Watch it!
"Jumping Jack Flash," Rolling Stones
One, two!

The Texas tales called me Lucifer
"Sympathy for the Devil," Rolling Stones
As heads is tails, just call me Lucifer

All your well-earned politics
"Sympathy for the Devil," Rolling Stones
All your well-learned politesse

Robbers and six-guns every day
Number seven six bus every day
"Magic Bus," The Who
Thruppence and sixpence every day

I didn't even know you, you couldn't have been too much Puddin' Tane
"Think," Aretha Franklin
I didn't even know you, you couldn't have been too much more than ten

70s
Daddy, ride us on your bike again
"Don't Cry Daddy," Elvis Presley
Daddy, ride us on your back again

Windshield wipers, turpentine
"Me and Bobby McGee," Janis Joplin
Windshield wipers slapping time

It had to be the Joan of Arc
"Willin'," Little Feat
Tehachapi to Tonapah

I was shot and killed
"Indiana Wants Me," R. Dean Taylor
I wish I had you

Go ahead and hate Joe Namath
Go ahead and cheat a friend
Do it in a native headband
You're a justified Indian
"One Tin Soldier," Coven
Go ahead and hate your neighbor
Go ahead and cheat a friend
Do it in the name of heaven
You'll be justified in the end
Comment: My all-time favorite misheard lyric. My mom heard the Joe Namath part, and I heard the Indian business.

Knights in white satin
"Nights in White Satin," Moody Blues
Nights in white satin

Bunny makes the world go round
"Money Money," Cabaret soundtrack
Money makes the world go round

Hoo Doo, who do you think you're fooling?
"Loves Me Like A Rock," Paul Simon
Who do, who do you think you're fooling?
Comment: Hoo Doo was the evil magician character played by Charles Nelson Reilly on the Krofft brothers' Saturday morning show "Lidsville." I thought the song had something to do with the show.

Cot, Cot, Cot, Beautiful Sunday
"Beautiful Sunday," Daniel Boone
Hi, Hi, Hi, Beautiful Sunday
Comment: My brother Scott had a little friend who had trouble pronouncing the S at the beginning of his name and called him "Cott" or "Cottie." Maybe I thought the song was about my brother?

Some stupid motherf*cker burned the place to the ground
"Smoke on the Water," Deep Purple
Some stupid with a flare gun burned the place to the ground

Baddest man in the whole downtown
"Bad Bad Leroy Brown," Jim Croce
Baddest man in the whole damn town
Comment: I think my parents probably sang "downtown" so that I wouldn't sing it with a swear word. See "The Joker" below.

At the edge of the park sat a girl named Mark
"Bad Bad Leroy Brown," Jim Croce
At the edge of the bar sat a girl named Doris

You don't spin into the wind
"You Don't Mess Around With Jim," Jim Croce
You don't spit into the wind

Two fellows ran, you know that's my cue
"Smokin' in the Boys' Room," Brownsville Station
Noon bells rang, you know that's my cue
Comment: I always pictured the singer sitting in class and watching his buddies run by the door, giving him the cue to meet them in the boys' room. I didn't learn the real lyrics until Motley Crue remade the song in the 80s.

You're a bad dog, Billy
"Get Down," Gilbert O'Sullivan
You're a bad dog, Baby
Comment: We used to sing this song to my dad (named Bill) all the time before discovering the real lyric. He never let us hear the end of it.

Gimme the people and free my soul
Gimme the Beach Boys and free my soul
"Drift Away," Dobie Gray
Gimme the beat, boys, and free my soul

The officers are trying to keep me down
"The Harder They Come," Jimmy Cliff/Jerry Garcia Band
The oppressors are trying to keep me down

Back in the battle days
"The Night Chicago Died," Paper Lace
Back in the bad old days

I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight talker
"The Joker," Steve Miller Band
I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight toker
Comment: Similar to the "Bad Bad Leroy Brown" mishear above, I think my parents wanted me to hear "talker" rather than having to explain to an eight-year-old what a "toker" was.

Too rich for charity
"Band on the Run," Paul McCartney and Wings
To a registered charity

Bat on the run
"Band on the Run," Paul McCartney and Wings
Band on the run

Sun-Times, I think it's a shame
"Sundown," Gordon Lightfoot"
Sometimes I think it's a shame
Comment: The Sun-Times is the name of the tabloid paper in Chicago. Maybe I thought this song was an ad for the paper?

Look at that, look at that
"The Streak," Ray Stevens
Boogedy, boogedy
Comment: I've seen the lyric in question written as both "look at that, look at that" and "boogedy, boogedy." "Look at that" makes more sense in the context of the song. Ray's official site lists the lyric as "boogie-dy, boogie-dy."

Every time that I'd plant a seed, he said, Killing people is gross
"I Shot the Sheriff," Eric Clapton
Every time that I'd plant a seed, he said, Kill it before it grows

Long hard days, Woody Hayes
"Beach Baby," First Class
Long hot days, blue sea haze

Everybody loves kung fu fighting
"Kung Fu Fighting," Carl Douglas
Everybody was kung fu fighting

And the girl in the corner, nobody knew her
"Ballroom Blitz," Sweet
And the girl in the corner let nobody ignore her

I never can say the Bible
"Never Can Say Goodbye," Gloria Gaynor
I never can say goodbye, boy

Wasting our time on cheap talking wine
"Best of My Love," Eagles
Wasting our time on cheap talk and wine

Be quiet, requesting quiet
"I'm Not in Love," 10cc
Be quiet, big boys don"t cry

Goodbye virginity
"Killer Queen," Queen
Gunpowder, gelatine

Sing women, sing for the years, sing for the love and sing for the beer
"Dream On," Aerosmith
Sing with me, sing for the years, sing for the laughter, sing for the tears

I want to f*ck you
"Do You Feel Like We Do," Peter Frampton
I want to thank you
Comment: Oh, come on, you thought it was this, too.

Or should I get in touch with the other lead guy
"Hot Line," The Sylvers
Or should I get in touch with the FBI

Baby, baby, honky's gonna stay away
Baby, baby, Hulk is gonna stay away
"Say You Love Me," Fleetwood Mac
Baby, baby, hope you're gonna stay away

Your behind is full of bees
"Sweet Sticky Thing," Ohio Players
Your beehive is full of bees

You put a spell on me, right when you walked into me
"You Make Me Feel Like Dancing," Leo Sayer
You put a spell on me, I'm right where you want me to be

Stairway from my window, stairway from my back door too
"Tonight's The Night," Rod Stewart
Stay away from my window, stay away from my back door too

Leaving me looking like a punchdrunk fool
Leaving me looking like a Dutch drunk fool
"Jive Talkin'," Bee Gees
Leaving me looking like a dumbstruck fool

He was brutally handsome, and she was terminally grey
"Life in the Fast Lane," Eagles
He was brutally handsome, and she was terminally pretty

We can get a half-dollar, we can get a half-dollar, we can get a whole half-dollar
"Enjoy Yourself," The Jacksons
We can tear the house down, we can tear the house down, we can tear the whole house down

Some dance (noun) to remember, some dance (noun) to forget
"Hotel California," Eagles
Some dance (verb) to remember, some dance (verb) to forget

Jack Brickhouse
"Brick House," Commodores
She's a brick house
Comment: The first time I heard this song, I thought it was a commercial for Jack Brickhouse, the longtime Cubs sportscaster. Hey Hey!

Sell your ice along a penalty/Surely Hemingway said you
"Carry On Wayward Son," Kansas
Now your life's no longer empty/Surely Heaven waits for you

So you're having trouble with your old man
"Whatcha Gonna Do," Pablo Cruise
So you're having trouble with your romance

Dance with the boogie guitar
"Boogie Nights," Heatwave
Dance with the boogie, get down

One, two, three, four, that's it, three, four, that's it
"Boogie Nights," Heatwave
Got to keep on dancing, keep on dancing

Sing in the bath, Sing in the bath
"Stayin" Alive," Bee Gees
Stayin" Alive, Stayin" Alive

Six in the morn
"September Morn," Neil Diamond
September morn

I've been hauling ass alone
"Miss You," Rolling Stones
I've been holding out so long

Going to Porky Pig
"Almost Summer," Celebration featuring Mike Love
Going through a four year spin

Lousy with fertility
"Look at Me I'm Sandra Dee," Stockard Channing, Grease soundtrack
Lousy with virginity

Elephants, elephants, let me be
"Look at Me I'm Sandra Dee," Stockard Channing, Grease soundtrack
Elvis, Elvis, let me be

Call him Mr. Eagle, dig his chains
"Macho Man," Village People
Call him Mr. Ego, dig his chains

We were at a party, here comes Bella McGee
"Rock Lobster," B-52s
We were at a party, his ear lobe fell in the deep
Note: I figured Bella McGee was someone else at the party.

I wonder why he's the greatest dancer?
"He's the Greatest Dancer," Sister Sledge
Oh what, wow, he's the greatest dancer

I can see the operetta
"Too Much Heaven," Bee Gees
I can see beyond forever
Comment: Why were the Bee Gees so hard to understand?

You can get yourself linked, you can have a good meal
"YMCA," Village People
You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal

Only blue talking dog
"September," Earth, Wind & Fire
Only blue talk and love

We're goin' to a Jewish lie
"Heart of Glass," Blondie
On love's true bluish light

You make love with body, yeah
"The Main Event/Fight," Barbra Streisand
You make love worth fighting for

Street light, it's the only light I know
"Street Life," The Crusaders
Street life, it's the only life I know

You wait in the wings, like a Saturday flood
"It's All I Can Do," The Cars
You wait in the wings, like a Saturday flirt

Bob Tuesday
"Pop Muzik," M
Pop Muzik

Disco bunny
Be somebody
"We Don't Talk Anymore," Cliff Richard
It's so funny

If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes on a cape (article of clothing)
"Escape (The Pina Colada Song)," Rupert Holmes
If you'd like making love at midnight, in the dunes on the Cape (Cape Cod)

80s
Here in my car, I cannot hear or see
"Cars," Gary Numan
Here in my car, I can only receive
Comment: This is only funny when you remember that the next line of the song is "I can listen to you." How could he listen if he couldn't hear or see? Oops...

Go on, kick the kid
"Another Brick In The Wall, Part II," Pink Floyd
Wrong, do it again
Comment: If you're having trouble placing this lyric, it's the first thing the teacher yells at the end of the song, just before the famous "If ya doon't eat yer meat, ya can't have any pooding. How can ya have any pooding if ya doon't eat yer meat?" line.

And I'm like Gunga Din
"Ride like the Wind," Christopher Cross
Lived nine lives, gunned down ten

Pirate of the airwaves
"Pilot of the Airwaves, Charlie Dore
Pilot of the airwaves

Take my hand, let's walk to the store
Take my hand, let's walk through the storm
"Love the World Away," Kenny Rogers
Take my hand, let's walk through love's door

Do the duck, do the monkey
"Shake Your Tailfeather," Ray Charles
Do the jerk, do the monkey

Don't let your aunt ever stray
"Magic," Olivia Newton-John
Don't let your aim ever stray

Steve walks merrily down the street
"Another One Bites The Dust," Queen
Steve walks warily down the street

Out of the subway the bullets whistle
"Another One Bites The Dust," Queen
Out of the doorway the bullets rip

The pine cone running in
"Hey Nineteen," Steely Dan
The fine Colombian

And it felt so right, like a marshal at night
"Touch and Go," The Cars
And it felt so right, like the hush of midnight

Stroke man, stroke man
"The Stroke," Billy Squier
Stroke me, stroke me

Don't kick, don't f*ck, don't sleep at night
"Shake A Leg," AC/DC
Don't kick, don't fight, don't sleep at night

My silly old mountain
"Leather and Lace," Stevie Nicks and Don Henley
My city, your mountain

She knows just what it takes to make a crow blush
"Bette Davis Eyes," Kim Carnes
She knows just what it takes to make a pro blush

Julie, Julie, Julie, Julie, Julie, don't wanna see your face
"Slave," Rolling Stones
Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, don't wanna be your slave

It's raining, men! (look, males, there's precipitation falling from the sky)
"It's Raining Men," Weather Girls
It's raining men! (there are males falling from the sky)

The kind of girl you read about in Newsweek Magazine
"Super Freak," Rick James
The kind of girl you read about in new wave magazines
Comment: My second favorite all-time misheard lyric. For years, I couldn't figure out what kind of girl would be in Newsweek (as opposed to, say, Time or US News and World Report).

Etch-a-Sketch, Etch-a-Sketch, yeah
"Little Guitars," Van Halen
Catch as catch, catch as catch can

On the Mall in D.C., now
"Dancing in the Streets," Van Halen
Baltimore and D.C., now
Comment: When Van Halen's version of this song got popular, I had just returned from a week in Washington and thought it was cool that they mentioned the Mall. Oops!

Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray
Red, Red, Red, Red
"Love Plus One," Haircut One Hundred
Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring

Red yellow red yellow red yellow red yellow
"Love Plus One," Haircut One Hundred
Ring and a ring and a ring and a ring and a

I've done no harm, at least to myself
"Who Can It Be Now," Men at Work
I've done no harm, I keep to myself
Comment: My version makes the guy seem creepier, doesn't it?

I catch the rays down in Africa
"Africa," Toto
I bless the rains down in Africa

Billie Jean is at my door
"Billie Jean," Michael Jackson
Billie Jean is not my lover

The prison boss was standing on the radiator grille
"Rock the Casbah," The Clash
The muezzin was a standing on the radiator grille

It's 2 A.M., the beer is gone
"Twilight Zone," Golden Earring
It's 2 A.M., the fear is gone

 Close the beer and fade away
"Overkill," Men at Work
Ghosts appear and fade away

I'm a pool hall ace
"Every Breath You Take," Police
How my poor heart aches

There's a black guy caught in a high tree top
"King of Pain," The Police
There's a black hat caught in a high tree top

There's a flat bull ragging and it won't stop
"King of Pain," The Police
There's a flag pole rag and the wind won't stop

I don't want to be hissed and booed
"New Song," Howard Jones
I don't want to be hip and cool

The heart of rock and roll is in Cleveland
"Heart of Rock and Roll," Huey Lewis and the News
The heart of rock and roll is still beating
Comment: I could swear that WLS in Chicago played a version of this song in which every chorus ended with "The heart of rock and roll is in Cleveland." Does anyone else remember this?

I was born in Africa
"Burning Down The House," Talking Heads
I'm an ordinary guy

Kick off your sudden-death shoes
"Footloose," Kenny Loggins
Kick off your Sunday shoes

Cut down the whole wheat track
"Footloose," Kenny Loggins
Come on before we crack

Took a walk to the corner store, just to buy a loaf of bread and a box of smokes
"Born in East L.A.," Cheech and Chong
Took a walk to the corner store, just to buy a loaf of bread and a box of Smores
Comment: My version makes more sense in context, but Cheech's is funnier.

Left you softly burning
"Eyes Without a Face," Billy Idol
Les yeux sans visage

A crowded room, friends with tie-dyes
"Last Christmas," Wham!
A crowded room, friends with tired eyes

What did the rabbit say?
"Boy in the Box," Corey Hart
What did the rebel say?

One, two, UK, Canada
"Boy in the Box," Corey Hart
One, two, you can't get enough

Shame on you
"Take On Me," A-Ha
Take on me
Comment: A friend started singing along with this one in a club and couldn't understand the real lyrics. "But 'Take on Me' doesn't make sense!," he said. Funny!

I pulled my shot off and pray
"Election Day," Arcadia
I pull my shirt off and pray
Comment: Doesn't my lyric make for a more interesting song? It sounds like he's trying to assassinate a political leader, but only has one chance, so he "pulls his shot off" and prays.

Actually the policeman should close the door
"Your Love," The Outfield
As you leave me please would you close the door

She left her lover for me
"Calling America," ELO
She left a number for me

The Hollywood sweaters living in Disneyland
"Let's Go All The Way," Sly Fox
The Hollywood squares are living in Disneyland

Stan's is the place where you work
"Stand," R.E.M.
Stand in the place where you work

Eddie are you O.K.
"Smooth Criminal," Michael Jackson
Annie are you O.K.

Don't wanna be no Bob Seger
"Pop Singer," John Mellencamp
Don't wanna be no pop singer

90s, 00s, 10s

The right time, the wrong me
"Roll to Me, Del Amitri
The right time to roll to me
Comment: I think the mishear is actually a better lyric.

I like it when the bee goes
"Thong Song," Sisqo
I like it when the beat goes

Disco, disco
"Wild Wild West," Will Smith
Sisqo, Sisqo

Scott Tissue that I wish you saw
"Scar Tissue," Red Hot Chili Peppers
Scar tissue that I wish you saw

No, I don't like no perms on K.C.
"P.I.M.P," 50 Cent
No Cadillac, no perm, I can't see

I got the baddest sh*t
"Magic Stick," Li'l Kim feat. 50 Cent
I got the baddest chick

Everybody on the floor, let me see your jealousy
"Me Against the Music," Britney Spears
Everybody on the floor, let me see you dancing

I've got SpongeBob
"Stunt 101," G-Unit
I"ll teach you how to stunt
Comment: If you listen to the song, there's a note in the bass right after the word "stunt" that makes it sound like "Stunt bum" or as I thought, "SpongeBob."

Everybody in the club gettin' tips
Everybody in the club gettin' pissed
"Tipsy," J-Kwon
Everybody in the club gettin' tipsy

Take a leak
"Freak a Leek," Petey Pablo
Freak a Leek

Vodka won't let me down
"Locked Up," Akon featuring Styles P
Locked up, won't let me out

Stacey, Madonna
"1985," Bowling for Soup
Springsteen, Madonna

Your Tribune subscription
"Let Me Love You," Mario
Your true beauty's description

If it wasn't for the Monte Carlo, movie stars are Jews
"Wonderful," Ja Rule with Ashanti and R Kelly
If it wasn't for the money, cars and movie stars and jewels

You ain't no jeans
You ain't no Jesus
You ain't no genius
"Signs," Snoop Dogg/Justin Timberlake/Charlie Wilson
You ain't no G

Don't cha wish your girlfriend was wrong like me?
"Don't Cha," Pussycat Dolls feat. Busta Rhymes
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me?

Bruins
"B.O.S.T.O.N," Bleu
Prove it

Spanish

¿Que pasa en mi baño? (What's happening in my bathroom?)
"¿Que Pasa?," Orishas
¿Que pasa en mi barrio? (What's happening in my neighborhood?)

Show you my a**hole
"Asere, Que Vola," Habana Abierta
Soy un payaso (I'm a clown)

Comments? Email me! (please put Becky's Island in the subject line)

Back to Music

Back Home